NFL Predictions Week 5

So, last week wasn’t the greatest. It was still a positive 9-7 prediction ratio, but not as accurate as I’ve guessed the last couple of weeks. Who predicted the Jets would beat the Titans? We’ll get into that later. Let’s do week 5!


Los Angeles Rams (3-1) vs. Seattle Seahawks (2-2) 7:20 PM Thursday


The Rams lost their first game last week and that should scare me, but it doesn’t. They played a red hot Cardinals team that had bulldozed a lot of the competition and the Rams came out flat. Although the Seahawks have been on and off every week. And since they won last week, I can see them coming out flat in front of the 12th man. 

Rams 31 Seahawks 24

New York Jets (1-3) vs. Atlanta Falcons (1-3) 8:30 AM Sunday


The awesome London game. Terrible for fantasy owners but great for the NFL’s brand exposure. Good thing they made it an absolutely terrible team. The Jets are coming off a win against the Titans. But you know what they say, a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while. The Falcons, although having a defense that resembles toddlers playing two-hand touch, should win this game with ease. If they don’t, expect a lot of slander from me next week. 

Jets 17 Falcons 28


New England Patriots (1-3) vs. Houston Texans (1-3) 12:00 PM 


Bill Belichek vs a team with not a single game-changer anywhere. Patriots by a lot. 

Pats 24 Texans 10

Detroit Lions (0-4) vs. Minnesota Vikings (1-3)


I wish I had something to say for the Lions game this week, but I don’t. It’s Dalvin Cook’s turn to run the Lions defense into the dirt. Next game, please.

Lions 17  Vikings 31

Philadelphia Eagles (1-3) vs. Carolina Panthers (3-1)


Although the Panthers lost last week, Sam Darnold played out of his mind. He is a completely different QB away from the black hole called the Jets. But they still don’t have McCaffery and that will always scare me. The Eagles just came off a loss to an angry Chiefs team and even so, they fought valiantly. Although they gave up 42 points to Mahomes and the Chiefs, I think the Panthers offense is only slightly worse than the Chiefs. So I think I’m going with Carolina here. 

Eagles 27 Panthers 31

New Orleans Saints (2-2) vs. Washington Football Team (2-2) 


The Saints lost to the Giants last week. You heard me right. The Giants. Straight up the Saints scare me. If they can lose to a very bad Giants team, they can lose to literally anyone. And Washington scored 34 points last week. I think that this Saints team is very overrated.  So I’m gonna take the Taylor Heineke led Football Team.

Saints 20 WFT 28


Tennessee Titans (2-2) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-4)


Wow. So when people say it’s literally just Derrick Henry it literally is just Derrick Henry. Henry ran for over 150 yards and a TD and the Titans STILL LOST. How does that happen? I don’t know. What I do know is that they have an easy bounce-back game with the Jags this week. So let’s go with the Tennessee Derrick Henry’s.

Titans 30 Jags 10


Miami Dolphins (1-3) vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-1)


This one is gonna be short. It’s Tom Brady vs. Jacoby Brissett. That’s all that needs to be said. 

Dolphins 17 Bucs 38


Green Bay Packers (3-1) vs. Cincinnati Bengals (3-1)


The Packers are back. I know they have no offense line and the defense is depleted, but Randall Cobb is back! I still can’t fully trust the whole team but when Aaron Rodgers is your QB I can somewhat trust the team. The defense will not be able to stop the young buck, Joe Burrow. And with Jaire Alexander out, Ja’marr Chase might have a field day. Plus they are in Cincy. I can’t believe I’m picking against the Packers but I do believe Joey Burrow will dice up this injury-riddled defense. 

Packers 24 Bengals 34

Denver Broncos (3-1) vs. Pittsburgh Steelers (1-3)


The Steelers are so confusing. I love the defense and the weapons on offense, but big Ben puts a damper on all of it. The Broncos are also considering starting Drew Lock. And if they do, this game will be over before it even starts. Even if Lock doesn’t start, I still think Pittsburgh is going to come out ready to kill in front of the terrible towel-waving fans. 

Broncos 17 Steelers 28

Chicago Bears (2-2) vs. Las Vegas Raiders (3-1) 3:05 PM


I wish I could say this was going to be a good game. Actually, I don’t wish that. The Raiders are probably the most underrated team in the league. And the Bears are one of the most overrated teams in the league. Fields has had one bad game against a good defense and one ok game against a horrid defense. This Raiders team is no joke and I think this game is going to be a blowout especially since they are in Vegas. 

Bears 13 Raiders 35

Cleveland Browns (3-1) vs. Los Angeles Chargers (3-1) 


This is one of the best games on the docket this week. The ferocious defense of the Browns facing off against the dynamic young offense of the Chargers. Neither team really has a weakness. Both teams have great offenses and great defenses. And I think this game will come down to coaching decisions. With Brandon Staley being the new coach here and not being in too many big games with big down decisions I think Kevin Stefanski and the Dawg Pound are going to come out on top.

Browns 31 Chargers 28

New York Giants (1-3) vs. Dallas Cowboys (3-1) 3:25 PM


Let’s start with the positives. The Giants won their first game last week! That’s it. That’s all the positives. They play a red hot Dallas team that just demolished a somewhat decent Philly team. They also play in Dallas and inside of Jerry’s world. This game is going to be a massacre.

Giants 17 Cowboys 38

San Francisco 49ers (2-2) vs. Arizona Cardinals (4-0)


The Cardinals are hot. They are the only undefeated team in the league and have beaten very good opponents to get there. They’re coming off a big win against the Rams and now have to face a slightly worse San Fran team. For the 9ers, I think they are good, but not good enough to beat Kyler and the Cards. I think Trey Lance looked great and the defense is healthy and good but the Cardinals are just too good. This will be the last time I sleep on the Cardinals all year. 

49ers 21 Cardinals 34

Buffalo Bills (3-1) vs. Kansas City Chiefs (2-2) 7:20 PM


Chiefs vs. Bills. Mahomes vs. Allen. I know I said Browns vs. Chargers was the best game on the docket, but this game is going to be the most fun game of the week. The Bills have been so good the past two weeks shutting out the Dolphins and the Texans and scoring 35+ in both those games. The Chiefs are coming off a big game against the Eagles where they scored 42 points in a way of getting out their anger from that pesky Chargers game two weeks ago. My brain is telling me the Bills here but my heart is telling me the Chiefs. And I think I’m going to stick with my heart. The Chiefs have too much talent and are too smart to fall under .500 for the second time this year. 

Bills 30 Chiefs 38

Indianapolis Colts (1-3) vs. Baltimore Ravens (3-1) 7:20 PM Monday 


I know you’re looking at the records and are thinking this game is an easy one for the Ravens. But the Colts are way better than their record shows. Jonathan Taylor is so good in the backfield and that offense line is one of the best in the league. The Defense is still good enough to put pressure on Lamar and the Ravens. But I still think the Ravens are going to win this game. Lamar is back to being Lamar, the Defense is better than most of us thought, and even with the injuries to the running back room, they still have found ways to win games. They also have the greatest kicker of all time. So go Ravens.

Colts 23 Ravens 28